Greetings traveler
SCUD forum deserved bans counter: 11
Pronouns: dhvcxWW*1 / scronch but you can call me whatever
Political compass coordinates: x = 588, y = 267, z = 771

Hello I am THE World Renowned Appendix Party Magician Paul. I perform dark arts of the arcane, fun for the whole family. Laugh with your chums as the person of your choice becomes subject of my appendix magic.
I love to play support and ponder about my chrysler town & country. Sometimes when I'm bored I play Internet Checkers (windows 7 version) or count mold in my bathroom. People would call me a bit rambunctious, but I believe they do not know the joys of mold counting.

Here is my schedule to see if I am available for your birthday party and what not:
- Monday: 8 AM to 5 PM
- Tuesday: 8 AM to 5 PM
- Wednesday: 8 AM to 5 PM
- Thursday: 1 AM only
- Friday: 10 AM to 12PM
- Saturday & Sunday: unavailable

Top 5 spells you can commission me to perform:
- Appendix shake: person of choice has their appendix shaken. Mildly uncomfortable but funny. Two dollars
- Appendix grounding: offensive spell. Increases mass of appendix for one minute. During which the person cannot move much. One dollar
- Appendix release: prevent person of choice from having appendicitis. Free on 20th of march but any other day it's five dollars
- Cement consumption: I will eat a whole block of cement of your choice. You pay for the cement and possible hospital visit. But I have fast metabolism so that is unlikely
- Appendix prediction: I will ponder my orb and tell you the future of your appendix. Free