We need to find some tools to start off with and that means you haul ass towards your closest military base and/or gym to see if they are willing to let you lift some weights. Who am i fooling!? There is nobody there, haha!

When you have found a suitable place to start pumping you need to get some fresh as fuqq clothes and i mean fresh as fuqq and not this second hand itching like grandmother's christmas sweater type of clothes.


- A nice cap to prevent you from showing off your sweaty forehead.

- Only a winner wear shades when they work out whether it is sunny or not.

- Remember when Rocky Balboa threw that levitating baby across the Washington Monument? No? He wore one of these bad boys!

- Badass gloves to wave goodbye to the toilet after you are done peeing because only losers wash their hands.

- The shorts must be red to show people that you are angry and not approachable by any means.

- Why pink runner shoes? Because pink is the colour of a winner and nothing screams alpha more than a pair pink runnies.

Look at this dude.

Running

• Keeps your cardio up.
  
• Outrun everyone.
  
• Gain phat leg muscles.
  
• Strangle a wolf with them.
  
• Hear the lamentation of their women.

Heavy Lifting + Benchpress

• Gain a puffy chest to block out the haters.
  
• Gain overall body mass.
  
• Phat muscles equals respect bro.
  
• You cannot drive a car because your biceps will block the windows.

Claw Hammer: Perfect for when you want to repair barricades but still work your bicep.

Steel Fire Axe: It is not on fire, but you are. With this bad boy you will be able to tear both zeds and buildings apart just like when Lisa tore Tommy wiseau apart in ''The room.''

Steel Pickaxe: That is right, we are going back in time. So throw that auger out of the window, because this tool will build your lats and arms like no other.

Steel Shovel: The shovel is here to save the day. Dirt, rabbits and zombies will not be safe.

Boiled Meat: Tastes like rubber tires but increases you protein intake by a large margin.

Grilled Meat: That is correct, so go out there, slap a whole tree over your campfire with your elbow. You are so angry the tree will set it self on fire. Proceed by flipping them meat hunches with your hands and enjoy the taste of victory.

Boiled Eggs: Eat these bad boys while making mocking chicken sounds.

*Puk Puk Pukaaak-Bawk-Bah-Bawk*

Bacon & Eggs: If you do not feel like solo eat eggs you can pair them with bacon and create a splendid meal. Beware that the bac-shlong sticks may appear dry as a cat litter box.





Mega Crush: This is your go-to energy boost and provides a sweet buff to crush your enemies. See them driven before you and to hear the lamentations of their women.

Dank Green Vitamin Pills: Take these suckers everyday to keep your temper up. For the best result; pair them with the Mega Crush!

Herbal Avocado Antibiatocs: Herbal antibiotics are better than normal antibiotics.