Welcome, both normal people and zoey fans! In this somewhat bite-sized guide I will be providing help to zoey fans, who people often think are too far gone, but I, The Witch, don't believe that. I believe there is hope even for the worst kind of people roaming this earth, so let's get straight to the point!

It's alright to be a zoey fan! If Zoey is your favorite character, then let that be! It's fine, as long as you don't go too far! If you go too far, you'll need to read this guide ASAP!

Most or atleast a good part of Zoey fans, upon becoming too attached to the character, tend to start having changes in their mind and personality, which results in them becoming very hateable individuals. Some of the changes include:

• Inability to stop looking at Zoey fanart
  
• Toxicity, causing them to easily leave games by rushing ahead of their team, or being generally rude, unpleasant, and unwanted in most lobbies.
  
• Loss of ability to socialize with anyone else
  
• Loss of ability to get out of home
  
• Extreme obsession with Zoey in general, preferring to always play as her and use mods that change her appearance in a weird way
  
• Extreme intolerance towards anyone else but zoey and fellow zoey fans. They won't ever listen to what people try to say to them

Now, you might be wondering...
Witch, how are we gonna save these people?! They're beyond the point of no return!

Believe me, there's hope for everyone, even these people! If we try hard enough, we can save the zoey fans from their demise!

Now let's get to the real stuff! We've seen the bad of most zoey fans, so now I will teach you how to save one, or how to take care of yourself if you're one!

Note: You do not have to follow these tips in order, with the exception of the last tip, which should ALWAYS be your very last move!

Zoey fans are usually dense as hell and will either ignore or troll you if you try to bring any sort of reasoning to them. Want them to take a listen? I know a useful trick!


Congratulations! You just figured out how to be able to have a proper conversation with a Zoey fan. Now give them these tips.

Taking some time off the computer to instead go outside for a nice healthy walk will be a big step in improving a zoey fan's physical and mental state.

This should be the first tip you give to a zoey fan, since you're masquerading as Zoey herself they will do everything you say and do.

As a recovering Zoey fan, you should be seeing Zoey less and less on screen in order to not undo your recovery progress.

As a diehard Zoey fan, you need to train your mind to not constantly google zoey and to not install zoey mods in the workshop.

Note: If you're THAT kind of zoey fan, you might have a custom spray of her set in your l4d2 options. Remove it ASAP, even after fully recovering you can accidentally end up seeing it when managing your sprays, thus destroying your entire fulfillment in getting over being an idiot.

Note 2: If you can't yet prevent yourself from googling zoey, try enabling safe search on google, it should decrease the severity of your condition.

Alot of bad zoey fans are trolls, they want to piss you off, ruin your matches, anything to upset you. But how will they behave in front of their beloved Zoey (you masked as her)?

When you see the chance, give them a big hearing on why they should stop being stupid and rude, as if you're their parent and they are your troublesome child. Encourage them to be nice around people that they don't know, and they WILL follow your words.

Zoey fans often have problems socializing with other individuals, unless they like her too. The good thing that makes everything easier is that they will not usually mistreat fellow zoey fans, unless they something bad about her, or just feel like being absolute ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ to their own kind just because they can.

If you can't convince them that you're Zoey, use this method instead: Present yourself as a fan of her, and talk and listen to them. They will non-stop talk about how much they like her and her appearance and some other weird things, but soon enough when they're done talking (1 hour later...) you may start talking to them and eventually give them the tips I'm mentioning in this guide, including this one which is socialize.

If they can't earn friends because of their disgusting status as a horrible fan of zoey, there's still hope: you can be their friend. It will be tough to endure a Zoey fan as your friend but trust me, you'll be able to make them a genuinely nice person soon.

You could try introducing them to better characters like Coach and Ellis, but there's a risk that their obsessive nature will carry over to those survivors and taint their fanbases with toxicity, so I recommend you only introduce them to much better survivors if they've made good progress in recovering, to the point they are decent people at the very least.

Contrary to popular belief within Zoey fans, Zoey is not a real person. Usually the people who believe this have the tendency to hear voices in their head which tell them to instantly start teamkilling everyone in the game, all for "Zoey's greatness", they say.

If you're a Zoey fan and you hear voices, DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM!!! And understand that Zoey is just a fictional character who also happens to not be anywhere near being the best character in the game.

Once you get the hang of this, you have a much better chance of recovery, so work on this as much as you can!

This is the last tip you should give to a zoey fan you've been helping recover for a while now. Tell them the truth and take off your mask, they won't believe it at first but they will soon accept the true awesome gamer facts.

Thank you for reading my guide, dear viewer! Hopefully with these instructions you'll be clearing the heads of tons of zoey fans in a single week! We need to start acting to make the l4d2 community atleast a little bit more tolerable!

If you're a Zoey fan reading this: Thank you so much for listening to me throughout this guide! Most Zoey fans don't usually have the courage to stand up and begin working on their issues. I wholeheartedly hope that my guide helps you on your recovery journey :)

I am The Witch, and I have been your guide for this guide! (lol)

Take care!

This is in case I update anything!! Right now this is the very first version of the guide.