Haste
96 ratings
How To Beat Shard 10 (No Items, No Damage, Perfect Landings Only, S-Rank Only)
By The Weakest Link
How to be (almost) as great as me for the Shard 10 achievements.
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Who Even Are You?
My name does not matter. What does matter is that I am one of, if not the first person to achieve the following three achievements in this game. Even Steam itself cannot fathom my skill, as it still says that nobody has these achievements... but I do.

How Are You So Amazing?
Thank you for asking.

As you can see below, it takes much skill and dedication to be able to achieve such a feat.
You see, I find meditation to be the most helpful.
You must look deep inside yourself [Settings] and take away all of your stress [Obstacles].
Only then can you experience the true bliss necessary for a feat such as this.

Can I Be As Great As You?
Of course not.

However, if you follow these steps, you will be on the right path.

1. Go to "Settings" in either the title screen or the hub pause menu.

2. Click on "Difficulty" Tab.

3. Set "Obstacles" and "Damage Taken" to zero.
(Congrats, you are now immortal (except for pits.))

4. Set "Speed" to a very low non-zero number.
(Setting it to zero will cause all of your Ranks to be E. I set mine to 10%)

5. Set Landing Precision to ~15%
(Setting it too low will cause you to stick to the ground more, which will make gaining height for the final boss too difficult. I set mine to 15%, which still allowed all my landings to be Perfect.)

6. Equip that old woman's cowl
(Its ability to ascend is perfect for the hectic landscape of the final boss.)

Congratulations! Through much training and hardship, you have now acquired the skills necessary to beat Shard 10 flawlessly!

Some more quick tips from yours truly for those going for the achievements:

  • Avoid the Mystery Spots, as they may reward you with an item, or may take some health.
  • Hard stages are fine to complete, as you can Decline the item at the end.
  • It is fine to run into obstacles, as no health is lost. I'd still avoid them as they hurt me emotionally.
  • Timer on the final boss doesn't start until the first machine is broken. Take time to build up energy and speed. I like to skip the closest machine from the spawn and instead destroy the one slightly further on the left first , then zig-zag in-and-out clockwise until I finish at the machine near spawn again.
  • Use the Sage's Cowl sparingly! It's your only lifeline from all of the pits at the final boss.
Why Go Through Such Lengths?
Achievements are great.
I am great.
Thus, I DESERVE achievements!
...and I will go through ANY (legitimate) LENGTHS TO ACQUIRE THEM!
Thank You So Much! Can I Have Your Autograph?
No.
20 Comments
Berga The Penguin 27 Jun @ 1:29pm 
+
Chartt Chartt 22 Jun @ 3:48pm 
ok
Postal 21 Jun @ 6:14pm 
lol well done
=MELLTRO= 2 Jun @ 10:16am 
How do you get the Shopocalypse achievement? Any tips?
Jojogamer_ 22 May @ 10:16am 
Thanks for your greate Tipps, some of them helped me alot.
+ Funny or just a Arrogant Bitch
The Weakest Link  [author] 23 Apr @ 12:21pm 
@ADrunkBlindElf Not sure if you're joking, but all my achievements were acquired legitimately, albeit with the use of the in-game difficulty tab for the harder ones. The last achievement I got was the 5k km, which when you have shop prices set to free, becomes very easy as you will finish levels in only a few seconds due to your speed. You can check the timestamps for my achievements yourself and see that it took me multiple days for the longer ones.
A Drunk Blind Elf 22 Apr @ 3:18am 
Basing on author's time to beat the game. We can say that this player Cheated his Achievements. There's no way you can get 50 challenges, and 5k km inyour current time. Prove me wrong and post your game ingame overall status
zombielife 12 Apr @ 5:20pm 
If some people wanna further cheese it up. I found that you can altf4 after a bad landing to restart the level like it never happened. I assume itll work the same way with damage.
El Burrito 10 Apr @ 4:34pm 
This is pretty good, I'm surprised changing those settings doesn't disable the chievos
Carzdroid 8 Apr @ 2:50am 
lmao