Start the game

No, seriously. You can't insult your friend without starting the game first. Duh.

If that's already too complicated for you, well.
Maybe you shouldn't be trying to play video games then. Sir Knight knows how that goes.

Choose
Insult a human

This is rather important in case you planned on insulting your cat.
Or your neighbor, who isn't really human but an Illuminati alien.

They can be pretty touchy about their race.
(Both Illuminati aliens and cats)
So never call them human to their face. Just don't.

Also, there are no options yet for insulting those anyway.

Go ahead and select "Insult a human".
Assuming your friends are human, of course.

If they are not, you may have bigger problems and should refrain from insulting them for now, instead crafting a tinfoil hat for yourself.
Or something.

Choose
Insult on-line

Another important step.

You could try to insult them directly to their face, but then you have to deal with certain issues like how to drink your hamburger through a straw or how to see where you are going on account of having both eyes swollen shut.

It's safer to insult them online, is my point.

Go ahead. Click "Insult on-line"

Choose your character and your preferred stage.

That's all.

No, seriously. I can't be bothered to be funny about this.
This is a guide after all, not a comic book.

Choose
Insult a friend

That's why you are here, no?

So do it.

Here is where it gets complicated
(it's really not, but this wouldn't be much of a guide without a lot of technobabble, eh?):

Set a Password

Really.

Make it something original though - Too many people tend to get their hovercraft full of eels because they go "123" and similar unimaginative homeless men's socks.
And the problem is:

Your friend needs to set the exact same password!

This is how you connect, so you can see why typing "123" will yield some strange results.
The most important one being that you will connect to some filthy random commoner who had the same stupid idea as you.

So send your friend the password, and impress upon him / her / that grunting sow the importance of it being the exact same password as yours.

And be polite about it.
Your wife admires pictures of your mother, by the way.
I have proof.

Now press

Insult a friend
again, and the system will connect to the internet and your friend, and hilarious insulting can now commence.

Wait, it didn't work?

Let me guess: Your password is "12345".



*Sigh*
"That's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!" - Dark Helmet